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Books

Pocket guide for parents who live apart ‘what most children say’
Clear and simple messages from children backed up by research available from Kent Family Mediation Service http://www.kentfms.co.uk/
Telephone: 01795 429689

How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk by Elaine Mazlish and Adele Faber (ISBN 1853407054)
While not directly related to the topic of divorce, this book aims to provide innovative techniques to solve problems with children, with the aim of making parent/child relationships less stressful and more fulfilling. From Amazon.

Helping children cope with divorce by Rosemary Wells (ISBN 078795554X)
A well-regarded book that offers guidance about practical and emotional problems. Voted one of the 10 Best Parenting Books by Child Magazine. It is designed as a postdivorce parenting manual, offering practical guidelines to help you minimise stress and explain divorce so that children don’t feel responsible. Covers all age groups and is packed with good advice. From Amazon.

We’re still family, what grown children have to say about their parents divorce by Constance Ahrons, Ph.D. (ISBN 0060931205)
In this book, Constance Ahrons challenges the myth that children of divorce are troubled, drug abusing, academically challenged, and unable to form adult relationships. Instead she provides new evidence that the legacy of divorce is not as devastating as some researchers have suggested. By listening to the voices of these grown children, divorcing parents will learn what they can do to maintain family bonds. From Amazon.

The truth about children and divorce by Robert E. Emery Ph.D. (ISBN 0452287162)
In this book, Robert Emery applies his 25 years of experience as researcher, therapist and mediator to offer parents a new road map to divorce. Topics include how parents can manage the potentially toxic feelings of their divorce and deal more effectively with the necessary daily tasks - from talking to children and creating a workable parenting schedule to dealing with legal issues. From Amazon.

Mom’s house, Dad’s house by Isolina Ricci (ISBN 0743277120)
Considered a classic guide by many professionals, Ricci's book focuses on the experience of parents through the divorce process. Throughout parents are guided through helpful exercises and selfassessments to identify their own feelings and take stock of their relationship with the other parent. From Amazon.

Putting your children first – a guide for separating parents by Department for Education and Skills
Free downloadable PDF from www.dfes.gov.uk/consultations/downloadableDocs/planner_draft.pdf

My time chart
A fortnightly planner aimed at children aged 4-10. Helps children to see at a glance which parent they will be spending time with and when during the week. Laminated and supplied with dry-wipe pens, the chart is easy to update each week and helps bring stability and routine into children’s lives during unsettling times. More information

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Online resources

Divorce and Children
Hosted by divorce coach Christina McGhee, this site offers helpful information, practical advice and tips for separated and divorced parents on how to help children manage family change. Monthly E-newsletter is also available

CAFCASS
Website contains useful information, case studies, advice and contact links as well as resources for children/young people including a peer mentoring tool where children can post general questions. Look for DVD and pack ‘My Needs, Wishes and Feelings’.

Relate
Relationship advice and information for parents who are separating or have separated. Telephone 0845 456 1310. The national office can put you in touch with Relate’s local centres.

It’s not your fault
Offers practical information for children, young people and parents going through a family break-up.

National Youth Advocacy Service (NYAS)
Provides specialist help for children and young people up to the age of 25. Free helpline 0800 616 101 or send a text message to 07773334555. Email advice for children and young people help@nyas.net

Gingerbread
An independent charity working to promote the interests and welfare of lone parents and their children. Offers support to parents through telephone, website and publications.
Helpline 0808 802 0925

NSPCC
Help and advice for adults 0808 800 5000

Childline
Offers a free confidential helpline, open 24 hours a day. Freephone 0800 1111

Community Legal Advice
Website offers free, confidential and independent legal advice for residents of England and Wales, including a section on family issues.

reunite International Child Abduction Centre is the leading UK charity specialising in international parental child abduction. They provide advice, information and support to parents, family members and guardians whose children have been abducted or who fear abduction. They also advise parents who may have abducted their children, and assist and advise in cases of international contact and relocation.

They offer a specialist advice line, and are here to help Monday to Friday between 9.30am and 5.00pm and an emergency service outside of these hours. Advice Line: 0116 2556 234