Mediation FAQs

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How can I decide whether to go for mediation, collaborative law or follow the standard process and which is cheapest?

Your solicitor will be able to discuss with you the merits of the various options and help you to choose the best one for you. Picking the best option for you and your partner may depend on factors like you and your partner’s willingness or ability to cooperate with each other, whether any violence has been involved, where you and your partner live.

The cost will depend on how quickly you are able to achieve a result and how much work your solicitor has to do on your behalf. If one of you is self employed or owns a business, expert help from accountants/financial advisors may be needed. This will add to the cost, but costs should only be incurred where they are proportionate to the result you’re trying to achieve. If you go to court, it is common for your solicitor to instruct a barrister to represent you. This does not necessarily add to your expense more than if your solicitor were representing you.

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What is the difference between collaborative law and mediation?

In mediation the mediator is a neutral third party who does not give either of you legal advice and will not side with either of you.

The mediator is there to facilitate the discussion between you and your partner and has a duty to advise you each to take separate legal advice, either during the process or after. Lawyers are rarely present during the mediation sessions.

Any settlement discussed during mediation is only binding once each of you have had the opportunity of taking separate legal advice and have transferred the agreement into a separate consent order of the court. The mediator cannot prepare the court documents for you nor finalise the process.

In collaborative family law, you each have your own lawyer throughout the process advising you and presenting your case on your behalf. If you don’t feel up to negotiating on your own behalf, aren’t sure about the financial side of things, or feel vulnerable when in the sole presence of the other party, collaborative family law could be preferable to mediation.

If you reach agreement during the collaborative process your lawyer can obtain the divorce decree and prepare the court papers to obtain the consent order spelling out what you have agreed.

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How does mediation work?

You may contact a mediator directly or your solicitor may refer you. What can you expect to happen?

The mediator will speak to you briefly about the process to ensure you understand how it works. They will then contact your partner and have the same conversation with them. Sometimes mediators prefer to do this face to face rather than on the telephone.

The first mediation meeting:

  • You and your partner will then meet with the mediator and outline the issues you need to resolve. You might also talk about how to provide your financial information, fix the date or dates of future meetings and/or raise anything which is of immediate concern to either or both of you

Working out the details:

  • Further meetings will be scheduled at which you may exchange financial information and consider options. The mediator may suggest other help, such as financial advice or support for your children. Between meetings you may wish to meet with your lawyer for advice

Finalising the proposals:

  • Once you have proposals you both find acceptable the mediator will prepare a summary of them together with a summary of the financial information which will be sent to each of you to discuss with your lawyers. After you have both received legal advice and if you are both still happy with the proposals, the lawyers will convert the summary into a legally binding document and carry out any necessary implementation.

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How can I be sure that the mediator won't side with my ex?

Mediators are highly trained and qualified professionals; they do not take sides. They may ask probing questions but they are trained to be impartial throughout and to recognise if one person is more dominant than the other. They will ensure that both of you feel able to say what you want to say on an equal footing.